Cute, Little Squirts

Okay, so this feels a bit anti-climactic after our Oprah post moments ago, but I (Carol) have been dying to tell you about one of my "Favorite Things" (yes, I know I'm not Oprah). But must share what my dear and super-smart friend Molly (one of my favorite people!) found. It's called "Clean Well" and it's an all-natural-alcohol-free hand sanitizer. Yes, I'm this excited about it! It sprays on in cute, light little squirts. Proven to kill 99.99% of germs (that's what the bottle says anyway). Naturally. Instantly. Made with "Ingenium" (whatever that is). And it smells like a lemon Altoid (vs. gel vodka). Try it! You can buy it at Target (one of our favorite stores, of course).

I introduced this product to my eager and bright-eyed group of first-year college students taking my public speaking class this morning. I don't think they, based on their facial expressions of disbelief and confusion as I walked about and sprayed all their finger tips, thought it was nearly as cool as I did. But I'm sure I killed at least 2,589 germs. Amen for that.

Yep, Oprah Called!!!!!!

... well, not Oprah herself. But someone from Oprah & Friends Radio (XM) to schedule an interview on valentine's day on the Jean Chatsky show!!! WHAT?!?!?! Yes, we're going to be on. 12-12:45 Eastern Time. Talking about what happy couples do to stay lovingly connected and happy for life. WHAT?!??! Whew. What a day. More on this as we find out more ....

As our friend Maryanne O'Brien (co-founder of Live Dynamite) always says: Expect Great Things! We have. We are. And enjoying every second.

Lovely Friends, Naughty Relatives, iPhones, and TV Tours ...

Happy New Year, everyone! We're finally back from a little yet much-needed break from teaching, students, classes, grading papers, and, well, more students. After a bit of R&R in Wisconsin, central Minnesota, and just hanging around our lovely cities, we're heading into '08 with our usual optimism and expectations of great things!

As we do so, we're taking a moment here to share a few thoughts on, highlights of, and reflections about the past few weeks since our last post (the good, the bad, the ugly, and .... ta da ... the iphones!):

1. We had our first book-signing event at the University of St. Thomas and tons o' people came (and bought books for themselves, their loved ones, their husbands and wives, and their family and friends)! How fun was that? It felt like a party. The funniest was a young, scruffy looking, finals-exhausted, sort-of-stinky college guy who's girlfriend reportedly had gotten him "the coolest" Christmas present ever. How in the world could he match something "so outrageously cool" ? Ah ... a book about relationships ... "How can I go wrong with this?" he pondered aloud. Smart man.

2. We made our lists and checked them twice ... then gave the gift of a book to each and every one of our family members (even those who have been naughty and, well, not so nice). If you're reading this and have to ask "is she talking about me?" the answer is probably "yep." It's bad karma, you know, if you sell a gift book on ebay. Bad gift-karma, as in you'll never get a really great gift again! From anyone. Really. They've done studies on this stuff. Empirical studies. It's true.

3. "Lovely, just, lovely." A quote from a dear friend who read WHCD and gushed with joy and praise. And it's been that X1000 from all of our dear friends ... far and wide, close and near, in touch and out. To all of you -- dear, generous, loving, giving, and priceless companions -- you have supported us, sang our praises, and been silly and wonderful cheerleaders from beginning to end. Thank you. Truly, thank you. You are the most lovely, just lovely, people. We are nourished, day in and out, by you. Wow.

4. Can you say i got an iphone for christmas?! Yep. Actually, we both did. Necessary business expenses, you know. Can you say "i am so cool?!" That's what we've been saying (although no one is answering). Call us. You'll hear the coolness in our voices, no doubt. Because if an iPhone can help your coolness, what can?

5. If you've been reading our blog, you know that I (Carol) am a caramel corn fanatic. It would be the single food of choice if I were left on a deserted island (a scary thought in an of itself, as anyone who knows me would agree). Anyway, if you've been reading this blog, you also know that Anna totally snuffed me out of my favorite caramel corn in the whole world (Garretts of Chicago) during a recent visit to Michigan Ave. The good news: 2008 is starting out sweet with the arrival, at my front door, of a gallon of hot (really) gooey (totally) buttery (beautifully) Garrett's caramel corn. From Anna. The greatest co-author and business partner anyone could dream of. Thanks, doll. I (kid you not) ate pretty much all of it in 2 days (and shared very little with my little ones ... because I was feeling a bit thin after the holidays and wanted to be sure to beef up before the cold, cold days of January arrive here in MN). I think I succeeded. Thanks a LOT, Anna.

6. What's next? ... preparing for a Valentine's day media tour about our book (including a trip to NYC in February where we'll be doing approximately 20 satellite TV interviews all over the country!) Stay tuned. We'll be sure to share all of the juicy details. We are also getting ourselves and voices prepped for about 2 dozen talk radio interviews scheduled for around Valentine's day too. Whew. Can you say Cliff Bar? Good thing we have iphones so we can write blog entries where ever we are. Because we'd hate to leave our blog-fans a hangin'.

That's all for now.

The Books Have Arrived!

Yes, they're here. Our little, beautiful, What Happy Couples Do books. So precious. So adorable. What can we say, except that we feel like proud parents giddy to show off our new baby.

If you'd enjoy one of your own, let us know!

Saying Goodbye to Ben Tracy

How did I spend my Friday night? Not in the usual very-lame go-to-bed-shortly-after-my-kids way. Instead, I (along with colleague and good question-answering friend John Tauer) journeyed to downtown Minneapolis (where the cool people go on the weekends, I quickly found out) to raise a glass and bid farewell to our friend Ben Tracy (co-founder and superstar of CBS affiliate, Minneapolis WCCO's Good Question feature). Ben recently accepted a job with the CBS Evening News (yes, he gets to work with Katie Couric!) What a fun night it was, seeing all the lovely WCCO folks who, truly, have developed their own loving little family. No shortage of fun people in that organization, for sure. After all the laughs, toasts, and hilarious stories, I returned home feeling a bit somber, realizing I was saying goodbye to Ben, my favorite reporter ... and someone I have started to refer to as "my friend Ben" (vs. "that cute reporter guy Ben Tracy"). He is surely so much more than just a (did I already mention adorable?) reporter-guy; he's a genuine, grounded, super-smart, and exceedingly-nice guy who is going to, no doubt, wow the world with his coverage of huge and happenin' things! Ben-- congratulations and best wishes! The twin cities will miss you. I will miss you too (... way more than Tauer will).

My friend Sal

I (Carol) received the following e-mail today from my college roommate, Sal. It made me smile. It also reveals precisely why Anna and I love what we do.

Hi Carol -
How are you??? My goodness you have been busy - you wrote a few books! I have to tell you that your email took me completely off guard. I was having "one of those days" where I was complete hormonal and hating my husband, and having a HEAVY conversation with a probation/parol agent about .... (I've evaporated the details here; Sal is a social worker) ... and then your email came - and the website is so simple and beautiful - and the music is perfect. I cried. Really - I did. I had to close the door to my office. (Remember, I said I was HORMONAL!). Then I went home and decided that I liked my husband again. See, you helped one couple already! ...

As we keep saying: Your marriage is up to you! Decide, right now, to like your spouse again. It's really quite simple.

Thanks, Sal, for making my day.

How do you "say" I love you?

Many of the ritual stories we receive reveal adorable expressions of couples, kids, parents, grandparents, sisters, uncles, and best friends who find creative, private, and/or unique ways of saying "I like you." "I love you." and/or "I'm glad you're in my life."

How do you "say" as much to someone special in your life? Do you surprise your spouse by filling up her gas tank on a frigid winter day? Do you leave loving little notes by the coffee pot? Maybe you bake your best friend a batch of gooey monster cookies -- for no particular reason? Or send your college-aged kid a care package overflowing with peanut M&Ms, his cherished childhood treat? Or have a saying, word, or hand gesture that privately means "I love you" .. an expression just between the two of you?

Do tell! These are kinds of small but significant rituals in all of our lives ... and we'd love to hear about yours!

A China-Free Challenge

The Bruess family recently participated in a China-Free Challenge. What's that? Check out the video.

Bad Dreams, Najla, and Caramel Corn

Anna and I just returned from a few days in Chicago (yes, we drove by Oprah's studio ... still waiting for her to call!) attending the national communication association conference. Besides taking in a few new theories, networking with a bunch of other people who talk and teach about talking, and presenting a few papers ourselves (about rituals and marriage, of course ... as well as about teaching courses in family and interpersonal communication), the best part of the trip was meeting, eating with, and sipping a few chocolate martinis with my new friend Najla (one of Anna's best graduate school friends!) Okay, so can you get any more charming than Najla? No. Can you get any smarter? No chance. Can you be any funnier or more down-to-earth? No way. The mother of 4 boys (sainthood, anyone?), Najla is a funny and witty conversationalist, super smart (did I already say that?), and -- our favorite quality about her -- real. Yep, she's a real, soulful person.

Here are the other highlights (and lowlights) of the conference. You decide which are which:

* A guy on the elevator at the Hilton is so interested in What Happy Couples Do (Anna happened to be holding a copy) that he refuses to get off on his floor and continues to ride the elevator up to ours ("I'll just take another ride back down...") to hear more about it!
* Anna gets caramel corn -- Carol's most favorite food in the world -- from the most famous caramel corn maker in the world (Garrett's) but eats it all before she returns! What?!
* Chicago style pizza.
* Carol (why am I disclosing this?) has a really bad dream and wakes up Najla and Anna at 4:45 a.m. Saturday morning with -- as they report -- a 3-tiered scream that sounded much like a bad voice lesson.
* $8 bowls of oatmeal
* Seeing old graduate school friends (... is that a highlight or lowlight?)
* Hotels with 2 bathrooms per room.
* Mark Orbe (you continue to energize me with your vision!)
* Chocolate Martinis (yes, they are worth mentioning twice).
* Oxford University Press (gotta love Peter).
* Rich West and Lynn Turner (please stop writing such brilliant and engaging textbooks ... so Orbe and Bruess will sell more copies!)
* Big & ugly blue name badges (with zippers that hold lip gloss and cell phones, at the same time).
* A conference program that you would easily mistake for a chemistry textbook. Who makes 6 lb programs? Better question: Who reads them?

If I disclose any more, I might get in trouble. Happy Day of Giving Thanks, everyone!

A Pretty (Cool) Pram ...

... graces the cover of our next book (What Happy Parents Do: The Loving Little Rituals of a Childproof Marriage)! And who is pushing the pram? Wait until you see! It's adorable. Loving. Happy. In this one image the artist captures "what happy parents do" with simplicity and complexity in this luscious design. And do you know who's responsible? Yep, it's Steve (our editor, for those of you new to this blog).

For those who aren't new to our blog posts, do you think we blog too much about our editor, Steve Deger? If so, oh well. We love him. He, once again, deserves a big happy hug for commissioning and directing the original art (and being patient with our chase for just the right color scheme, only to come back to the ones he first proposed) for the next cover. If anyone knows how to shriek via e-mail, it's Anna and me (in response to Steve's latest good news and/or great ideas!) And indeed, he's done it again. Can't wait to show you the insides (and outsides) of book #2 (which we'll post on our website soon. So stay tuned)!

Happy Birthday, Carol!

For 39 years, the world has benefitted from Carol's amazing ways. And today, on her birthday, I've (Anna) got to publicly state: Carol, you're the best!

Carol has made many lives (especially mine!) more joyful, peaceful, meaningful, organized, and simply better. Nearly every day I'm compelled to say, "How does she do it?" while watching her as a mom, wife, professor, researcher, colleague, co-author, friend, athlete, seamstress, card designer, photographer, and cookie baker! Who else can successfully fulfill all of these roles with such grace and style? Carol, everyone would agree, you're something else. Enjoy your birthday!

Tay-Tay Wompy and BillyBob Barefoot

What a hoot! Students in my (Carol's) Family Communication course the other day went around and shared their nicknames (those loving terms of endearment bestowed by or on family members, friends, and significant others). We were discussing the way private language -- everything from those quirky nicknames to those phrases that have meaning just between friends and intimates -- serves incredibly important functions in relationships. And, to almost no one's surprise, we discovered that most of us take these terms, names, and creations for granted.

We also discovered that students in our class possess some incredibly creative nicknames, such as:

BillyBob Barefoot, Brown Sound, Keebs, Crisco, Schnitzle, Sr. Rantz Alot, Itty Bitty, Light-els, Shellyn, Twiglet, Pancakes, Scout, Shreck, Annie Margo, Taylor Womp Womp (or Tay-Tay Wompy), Buddah, and Blade of Grass. Others shared the wacky and intriguing details of a completely private language between friends (they call it their "Choo" language), using the term "oodabotchie" when rough-housing needs to end, and employing two claps followed by a stomp (of the foot) to indicate an attractive guy is near (!)

What a hoot, eh?

Take a moment to share (via "comment" below or "share your stories" on our main website) your nickname(s), private codes, and/or personalized ways of communicating. Don't worry, it's anonymous!