... the piece published today called "The Generous Marriage" by Tara Parker-Pope in the NYTimes Well Blog. Tara (no, I don't know her but like to pretend I do by using her first name) is one of my favorite NYTimes thinkers and writers on relationships! Go Tara. Call me later, eh?
Seriously, though, she's smart. Right on. And this piece summarizes so much of what we keep saying in What Happy Couples Do. Yep, here it is again, something we qualitative researchers would call an emergent theme: Relationships thrive on us in them being kind (rocket science, I know, right?). Making thoughtful - even when we don't want to - choices. Being intentional. Creating positivity. Not giving up. Because it's worth it, and then some.
Just in case the link above doesn't work for you, it's worth your time to copy/paste/Control C/Control V: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/08/is-generosity-better-than-sex/
Speaking of Kindness. If you live in the Twin Cities and need some inspiration for being kinder, stop by the Kindness Cafe. "Breakfast and lunch cooked to order. Tasty, feel good food prepared with you in mind." 350 Saint Peter Street Saint Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-6440
I have no idea who owns it, why they created it, what their food is like nor even who goes there. I've never been, shame on me. But recently a pal said "This place is totally for you!" So true. I study kindness (oh, and try to practice it once in a while too). How could anyone be grumpy or impatient while at the Kindness Cafe?
Maybe a required lunch spot for all couples? Once a month. Or twice a day if needed.
Lucky us who live in St. Paul, MN! Kindness Cafe people: watch out. I'm coming on down for a bite with my spouse and kids. Or maybe we'll just move in.