I Miss Anna

It's true. I cried deep inside when she left.

But then I smiled.

Because I, like she, knows this is her path right now. Trust that a Kentucky Ph.D. is what she deserves right now. Love the fact that she is willing to go for it. Smartly. Thoughtfully. Willingly. Always mindfully.

Anna, my friend and partner: Study hard. Text and call often (during orientation, a boring lecture, and/or late on a lonely Kentucky evening .... )

And come home soon, will ya already.

(p.s. I can feel a next book coming on: What Happy Long-Distance Authors Do: The Silly Little Rituals of Super-Sappy Sistahs)

I love Kentucky

I really do. Can you blame me? Just look at that library. Libraries are my weakness. While Carol's favorite smell is cleaning solution, mine is the scent of old, musty books. UK's library, I learned during orientation, is the 2nd largest in the country. I'm dying to find my own little corner of this lovely space.

More perks? My professors are equally as brilliant as they are supportive and professional. My classmates are both fun and smart. It's truly all I could have hoped for. And, while it's tough saying goodnight to my sweetie over the telephone, I know it's only temporary. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, too. You see, Dr. Laura Stafford, one of the top five scholars in our area of communication, has recently been researching long-distance relationships. And, like me, this is her first year at the University of Kentucky (she was recruited away from Ohio State). It was meant to be, wasn't it? If you're ever doing the long distance thing (not that I'd wish it upon you), you should definitely check out her book, "Maintaining Long-Distance and Cross-Residential Relationships."

Whew. It was a long week for Carol and me. Soon the undergrads will be knocking at our doors (or flooding our inboxes, I should say). Summer was good, but so is university life. Let the classes begin!

Max Turns One

Seriously, are there bigger cheeks (exemption: Carol's) anywhere in St. Paul?

Happy Birthday, Max. Thanks - a billion cheeks - for letting me document your first year.

Natalie and Doug: You should have another, just to make sure a human being can't get any cuter.

Kentucky Bound

Well, as some of you know, I (Anna) am off to the University of Kentucky to finish up my Ph.D. It'll be a dream come true to be supported and nurtured by some of the best scholars in our discipline as I further develop my research line on marriage and family rituals. UK is home to some of the top "applied" researchers in the world and I can't wait to be surrounded and invigorated by them.

It'll be quite an abrupt change, though, being away from my loving hubby and all. But, thankfully, he is my number one fan and supports my pursuits and dreams. He loves my goals. And I love him for loving me and my goals equally, even when they take me half way across the country. We'll be crafting some "loving little rituals" as a long-distance couple for the next nine months, I'm sure.

Other big supporters? My best friend from grad school, Jen, and her four month old son, Hayden. I went to visit her in Duluth last month and Hayden was sporting a UK shirt. I'm so thankful for Jen's encouragement! And for Hayden's public display of support, too. I'll be sure to send the whole family some UK gear once I arrive next week. Jen, LL.

In Summary ...

... above is a word-art depicting key themes from our blog over the last many months (created for all of you who haven't been keeping up, have a short memory, have a 'give-me-the-gist-kind-of-personality' or, like me, crave things in mini-version). Cool, eh?

I thought so. And you can create your own "wordle" at http://www.wordle.net with whatever words you like! For instance, students of all ages and grades: Think about putting a wordle on the title page of an upcoming essay? Copy and paste your original manuscript into Wordle.net, select a template, and wordle will identify and design, in seconds, your key words into a workle (my term) of art, sure to get the attention of your teacher or prof! (note: If any of my -- Bruess' -- students are reading, I'm impressed already).

A+ for wordle.

Making It Lovely

Two things: I (Carol) have an obsession with making "it" lovely (my house, my office, my toes, my dog's hair, my marriage ... everything. Except my handwriting. I produce the scratchiest, sloppiest notes. Not sure why).

Anyway, today, as I was enjoy the last hours of the PERFECT summer day (cloudy, warm, wanting-to-rain and ... the most important detail: my dear groom and beautiful children left me home alone for the weekend while they went to the cabin). Alone! All by myself. Ahhh. Alone to grow the Zen in my soul, scrub floors and toilets, and just sit - with nothing more than the Star Tribune and the latest issue of Scientific American Mind (ok, Martha Stewart Living too) on the screen porch. Did I mention I was all by myself? Ahhh, again.

At one point this weekend, while all by myself enjoying the sounds of my peaceful garden fountain, I came across two of the greatest little sights (one was actually a "site"). First was the lovely little sight of three precious gems out my pixy urban garden. They greet you at the front door where you rest your keys. Second was the most lovely little website, called Makingitlovely.com, the blog spot of some woman who created and owns a papergood/gifty company called Pink Loves Brown, www.pinklovesbrown.com. Rush to it. I have no idea who she is, but she has an enviable design sense and illustrates the loveliest greeting cards, note pads and other adorable and oh-so-(not really, but really indeed) necessary products for a lovely little life.

So, the real inspiration for this blog was to reflect on how we each might make our marriages a bit more lovely. Have you done anything this week to make life even a little more lovely for you and/or your spouse?

Tell us about it! Seriously. Post a response and share a lovely little gesture you've made for or toward your partner recently.

I'll start: While cleaning today (all by myself) I arranged my husband's contact solution, case and extra little bottles in the shape of a smile. Hope he notices. If not, I'll smile anyway.

101 nights of a very happy couple

Surely you've heard of the recent book "101 Nights" in which a couple, who intentionally tried to change their marriage by having sex 101 nights in a row, recounts their fun yet exhausting little experiment (hint: it does indeed change their marriage)!

Their story and strategy remind all of us that marriage is really about intentionality. Effort. Patterns. And how we create, change, or perpetuate them (the patterns, that is). And it's not really at all about sex (although many couples agree more sex can't hurt). What it's about is making a choice to redirect your energy and enthusiasm back at one another. It's so easy NOT to do so, isn't it?

Carol recently was interviewed about the 101-night-couple's attempt to change their marriage by having a bit o' fun with themselves. The best part: During the interview they gave What Happy Couples Do a HUGE plug. Thanks, Frank Vascellaro of WCCO, CBS affiliate in Minneapolis. You rock!

View it here: http://wcco.com/specialreports/sex.101.days.2.771268.html

Happy Families ... drive a "Peace Van"?

Maybe some of them do. And last week, we did too, thanks to our dear friends and neighbors who insisted we try out their Eurocamper for our annual journey to Northern Minnesota (Ely). How do we look? (keep in mind, if you answer, that this photo was taken after 6 days of not showering, sharing an outhouse with 17 extended family members, and fighting off flies, ticks, deadly mosquitoes, spiders, otters, bears, bats, deer, and 13 of our loving extended family members).

Peace out, everyone, and get yourself a VW van (absent the hub caps) if you can. Or, if you don't actually want to own one, move in next to someone who does! Thanks, "Great Man," for the loaner. You are the peaciest guy I know.

P.S. Arrived home to find boxes of What Happy Parents Do greeting me at my doorstep! Want a signed copy? Just let us know (carolandanna@whathappycouplesdo.com) and we'll have them inscribed to all of the happy parenting couples in your lives. Peace, all.

While Carol is Away...

Fred and Anna will play! We're puppy-sitting for the Bruess family while they spend a week at the lake with family. Carol, you know I adore having you around. But feel free to take off for extended periods of time more often. We love the little guy!

It's been especially nice having Fred during a big week in the Kudak family. Brent's grandmother passed away early Wednesday morning. Having a four-legged friend, we've found, can certainly put a healing smile on your face. Plus, Kyle (my little bro-in-law) gets back from his canoe trip tomorrow and Fred will be there to greet him! Can't wait to see a bronzed Kyle tell his tales from the trail.

4th o' July past ...

The Rifle Twirling Squad. It was all the rage when I (Carol) was in high school (can you guess which one is me? Answer is at the end of this blog post).

It was hard work being a rifle twirler: The practice, the drills, the tryouts, the blisters, the occasional knock on the forehead when attempting a new move, the demanding captain (her name was Polly), the hot sun, and - oh my - the white vinyl boots with red tassels. They were SO comfortable. Like wearing a pair of easy spirits. Ha. But they look cute, don't they? Especially with the white hat.

Yes, this was my life as a 14 year old. And I'm proud to say that the invaluable skills I learned then are still serving me well today. You should see me twirl an umbrella. And a broom. And - when I can get my hands on one - a marshmallow roasting stick. It's frighteningly awe-inspiring.

Who, me? Second from the left. Polly is far left (darn it, Polly. You were always one-up-ing me).

bottom-bottom-top-top-bottom-bottom-top-top (my preferred right-hand drill). I'll show you sometime.

The Stork

... has landed, delivering to the warehouses our precious second "baby":

What Happy Parents Do: The Loving Little Rituals of a Child-Proof Marriage - Ninety-Three Cents and a Little Humpty-Dumpty. Should be in stores and on Amazon.com soon!

And just in time for it's arrival, our first dabble of press, an article at glam.com!



Then brace yourself for what's coming next to our blog: Photos and stories from a good-old-small-town independence day celebration (including rifle twirling, plant-based bug spray that actually works, and reflections on summertime stomach flu).

Oh, and video excerpts from a delightful summer wedding during which the priest delivered a little surprise during his homily!

Stay tuned. Lots to share.