What Happy Dog Owners Do.

They laugh when their cute dog gets curious during a photo shoot of some of your new products!



Yes, you're seeing a sneak peek at the soon-to-be-launched Happy Couple Company glasswares! Cute, eh?

Almost as cute as Fred (woof).

Check the Happycouplecompany.com site in the next few days. You might just be the first to own some of these and some other nifty little ditties, each designed to inspire.

P.S. Yes, it was glasses and mugs in the boxes from last post! Wahoo. We can't wait to show you everything.

Hmmmm ....

Wonder what is in these boxes?

Soon.

You will know too.

Check back.

Clarity and Care

Today we returned home from the funeral of a great man. He was not only my husband's undergraduate advisor and mentor, and a dear friend to us both, he was an awe-inspiring and award-winning professor of family, marriage and sociology ... still affecting both Brian and I 20 years later in our lives, relationships, marriage (and in my classes, of course). As I listened to his children summarize the traits of their most beloved father - Dr. Tom Faase - I was reminded yet again of Dr. Faase's core philosophy: "When the time of our particular sunset comes, our thing, our accomplishment won't really matter a great deal. But the clarity and care with which we have loved others will speak with vitality of the great gift of life we have been for each other." (A Celebration of His Life, Tom Faase, April 29, 2010).

Thank you, Tom, for once again being a teacher. Your goodness lives on in so many of us, no doubt more deeply than your humble self would ever have let you imagine. Thanks to your model of unconditional kindness, we are better people (and a happier couple, no question).

P.S. How perfect that we pay homage in this - the 200th posting of What Happy Couples Do blogspot! - with a nod to the man who found happiness in EVERY (literally - not kidding - in delightful simplicity) moment. To Debbie, his dear wife, and to his beloved children, may you find peace in Tom's rest.

Hot ...

... off the press!

We received sample copies this weekend and, oh my, we are two of the happiest women in town or what? Although the entire shipment won't arrive for a month or so, we couldn't resist a "new arrival" photo of our little baby sitting happily (yes, we like that word) on our desks.

Fairview Press and Steve Deger: we adore you! Have we mentioned that lately?

Happiness reigns, again and again. Three cheers for joy (... as well as for making it to Happy Couples Blog post #199. Holy cow. Thanks for continuing to read along).

5 weeks of Parenting

What I've learned in the five weeks of Thomas John's life:

1. Putting on socks is impossible to do while holding a baby. It's challenging even when he's in a sling. And with a baby who loves to be held (yes, even during naps), this can be a challenge. For warm feet, I must put socks on immediately after showering.

2. Babies are cute even when they're crying! However, cuteness decreases after an hour and a half of continuous crying.

4. I wish I could bottle up his sweet little squeaks and grunts and save them for a rainy day in about 14 years.

5. I hate to admit it, but everything I heard about parenthood is true. It does change your life. You do love them to pieces. You are sleep deprived. You shouldn't expect to get anything else done while at home with a baby all day.

6. He's started to smile and coo and it melts my heart.

7. I can hardly wait for 5:00 because I know Brent will be home soon. I celebrate each passing hour after noon because I'll soon have my companion back. Also, nothing is more fun than seeing Brent be the best daddy I ever could have imagined.

8. Thomas spends most of the day hanging out in one of these: http://www.sleepywrap.com/ He loves it and so do I. I wouldn't want to go through the infant stage without it. In fact, as I write this, I'm standing up and bouncing while Thomas looks calmly looks around and fades in and out of sleep.

9. Cloth diapering is not as bad as people make it out to seem. The price is certainly right, and you can't deny the environmental benefits. Plus, they're kind of cute.

10. Family is amazing. We've had so much help and support from both of our families. Both my mom and Brent's come one day a week to spend time with Thomas and help me get some work done. We're so lucky that our parents love Thomas (and us) so much and live close enough to help us out.

Passion. Clarity. Wants me to succeed.

A few years back I (Carol writing here) sat down with my academic dean for a cup of coffee. We are friends and thus we often chat about life. About our kids. About students. And about publishing and theories and what great recipes we've tried lately. The conversation that day turned to teaching, of course. We teachers can't help ourselves but to muse about how to be better, brighter and grade more essays in shorter periods of time. Something my friend/dean/colleague Tom said that day stuck with me. I actually wrote it on a sticky note and secured it right next to my office computer on a steel file-folder-organizer-thingy. It has remained there for a good 4+ years now. In three memorable phrases he smartly summarized what distinguishes the creme de la creme teachers from all the rest.

The best of the best professors ...

1. are passionate.
2. are clear.
3. want their students to succeed.

It dawned on me yesterday as the sticky note caught my gaze once again: Maybe these are the same "secrets" of the happy couple masters? Of the creme de la creme relationship partners? Of the people who seem to really find deep gladness and awesome giddiness in one another, year after year. Of those darn happy couples most of us yearn to become.

1. Passion. (Gosh darn it, let's be happy! Let's do things to keep us connected. Strong. Repaired. In "like" with one another, even when the economy plummets, the children are melting, and the laundry is piling up).

2. Clarity. (Of vision. Of purpose. We do whatever it takes to remember, time and again, that "we" come first. And that "we" stay happy. And that "we" keep our priorities straight. Before jobs and kids and cars and mortgages. WE matter, yes we do!).

3. Holding up the other. (Does your partner - the other part of your team - really know, deep in her/his heart, you want her/him to succeed? That he is smart? That she is valued? That you are open to his smart influence? That she will be listened to?)

Thanks, Dean Connery, for your wisdom. You never cease to impress and amaze (dude). Let's grab a cup of coffee soon, eh?

A Happy Couple (+ One More)

Thomas + a happy couple = a really great photo shoot.




(photos by C. Bruess)

More updates from the happy parents soon ... !

Arrival (!!!!)

It happened yesterday at 6:32 p.m. The waiting ended and into the world appeared Anna and Brent's new little love: Thomas John. The perfect name for the perfect baby.



Anna, you are a mountain of strength. Brent, you are a rock-steady presence. Together with Thomas, you are an unstoppable threesome. Welcome to the new chapter in your life! May it be filled with lots of sleep, many new loving little (couple/child/parent/partner) rituals and even more moments of pure and unfettered gladness (even when those moments are in the middle of sleepless nights).

We can't wait to hear all about your first days, and the wise insights you'll share about "What Happy Parents Do" ... direct from the trenches.

Sleep well. Find joy. And tell us all about it as you do!

Anticipation

I (Anna) never thought the day would come. Today marks my 39th week of pregnancy. Our baby might still be nameless (that's a whole different blog post!), but he's fully cooked. This means that no matter what, in less than three weeks, I will be a mother. Um, whoa. Ever seen someone go from thrilled to terrified in the span of five minutes? Come to my house. In the past few days, looking at this little sweater and hat, knitted by my sweet mom, instantly renews my excitement when fear sets in. Have you ever seen anything so cute? I'm trying to explain to him that he needs to come greet the world so I can see him wear his sweater. ASAP.


We're seemingly ready for Baby to come. The hospital bags are packed and perched by the door. The car seat is installed. The clothes are washed and folded. Thanks to Carol, the baby's room is perfect. She's been sewing, stitching, and carefully crafting all the little details to make it both adorable and functional. But how come I still don't feel ready? I choose to believe it's because "readiness" is a parenting myth.

While waiting, we're trying to spend as much quality time together as possible. Because before we know it, we'll need a babysitter in order to spend any time alone! We've been pretty much inseparable these days and I'm loving every minute of it.

Wish us luck. Any day now, Baby!

The List

Well, the idea grew out of an argument. A big one. Yes, we "happy couples" fight too! In fact, we fight quite a bit (it's Carol here, although Anna admits a good "care-frontation" with her spouse now and again). In case any readers are feeling disappointed, remember: reserach shows that happy couples can fight a lot (it's how they handle their disagreements that makes a difference!).

Our (Bruess couple) latest "handling" of conflict looks something like this: Make a list. On the white board. In the basement. In the corner. Where we each check in periodically and perhaps more now since the "list" is new and fresh and in the just-initated phase. On the list you jot things (key words, phrases, whole paragraphs) that irritate you, jab you, rub you, warm you. Things that make you CRAZY. And things that make you smile. But mostly, the list is designed to highlight things that aren't quite right at the moment (of the "when you walk OVER the dirty clothes which have come down the laundry shoot and landed just inches from the basket but you don't actually pick them up, I think I'm going to SCREAM" variety). Or, one that I'm confident is going to be on my husband's list sometime today or tomorrow: "Selling the sofa and chairs without telling me and buying new ones." Oops. Good point. Not a good idea of a "surprise" (despite my best intentions. Honestly. I had good motives, honey).



Happy couple or not: we ALL have things that make us "slightly irritated." Why not find a way (a visual and ever-developing-but-easily-erasable list) to get them addressed and expressed?

I'll keep you posted on how ours goes.

(And I'll be sure to post a photo when our new sofa arrives!)

Sisterness

As many college roommates experience, the women who lived with me on 331 Wilder Street became my "sisters." Since our college graduation, we created a ritual (inspired by my cousin and her college roommates, which you'll read all about in our forthcoming book What Happy Women Do), our very own holiday: 3/31 Day (March 31). Each year, on March 31, we try to celebrate our friendship all day. Sometimes it's via morning email and then happy hour later. One year, we were fortunate to all be able to take a day off of work and school! This year, we'll have the birth of not one but two babies being born. Another roommate graduated from law school and passed the bar exam. Another is about to start nursing school. Another is potentially planning a move to LA. Big year for us "sisters." So big, in fact, that it seemed that one day per year just wasn't enough to devote to our friendship.

Therefore, we decided to try for a monthly celebration, too. So on the 3rd Wednesday (which happens to be the 3rd day of the week) of every month, we have lunch for 1 hour: 3-3-1. We can't all be there each month. But we sure try. We realized that when we don't see each other often enough, we end up spending all our time "catching up" rather than building on the sisterness we already share.

We love our partners and families dearly. But no matter how hard they try, they can't comprehend everything we went through together at 331 Wilder. No one else can understand the funny notes we left each other, requesting checks for rent, energy bills, cable, and water.

Or the "rules" we developed for conducting life under one roof.


Or the fun we had together.

Celebrate your sisterness! And take pictures and share them (and your stories) with us.

A Must Read

I know I've mentioned my friend's blog before, but I think this entry is worth sharing again!


Najla and her hunky husband, Paul, have started a new ritual. They're cross-country skiing together this winter. They happen to live in Fargo, North Dakota, which is one of the coldest places I've ever been. The wind has been known to whip Fargo residents to the ground! With recent temps dipping well-below zero (try twenty below zero), these two remain committed to their new ritual. Check out her blog for some fun dialogue between she and her husband during their ski outing this week.


http://najmania.blogspot.com/2010/01/hotness-in-frozen-tundra.html