One of our (both mine and Carol's) favorite neighbors, Betsy Davies, is involved in one of our favorite causes: Give Us Wings. Give Us Wings helps build African villages. Betsy went to Uganda and Kenya in January and blogged about her experiences. Very though-provoking, heartbreaking, and enlightening stuff worth checking out:
http://jambofromuganda-kenya.blogspot.com/
Looking for a fun time with friends? Support Give Us Wings while doing so! They're having a benefit dinner and silent auction that would make for a great double date. C'mon, Happy Couples! Betsy will be speaking and she's incredibly funny and touching. It's sure to be a great time for a good cause. Purchase your ticket online:
http://www.giveuswings.org/fundraisers/12-annual-celebration-a-silent-auction.html
As a bonus, you might just meet the one and only Carol Bruess; there are rumors she'll be in attendance! Oh, and there's Happy Couple Co giftware to bid on, too. It'll be a night to remember.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Spring Break, Scissors and A Sister
Last week I (Carol) enjoyed another of academic's fine offerings: spring break.
Three cheers for SPRING BREAK!!
While many believe spring break is a time to head south, head west, head to the slopes or head, well, somewhere else (yes, we still had a foot of snow on the ground in MN last week so it's worth going, well, anywhere but here), I've come to relish spring break for the week of regrouping, resting, refreshing (oh, and grading papers that I always assign to be due right before spring break. Dumb).
But this spring break was none of the above. It was BETTER than traveling and resting! And ... as you might guess since I'm making spring break the topic of an entire happy couple blog ... had something to do with happiness + couples + anticipation + planning + celebrating + a bride-to-be + a lot of cutting and stitching.
Indeed, it was a week of all that and more. My sister arrived on Sunday. My mom came shortly before. We traversed the cities with ideas and visions for assisting in the prep for my sis's upcoming destination/beach wedding. Armed with ideas, tape measures and notepads, we set out to descend upon the best shops and stores in the metro area. The pinnacle moment was purchasing fabric. Crafting a dress-making plan. And then tackling the project.
A day or so later, I emerged from the new basement sewing room with my sis's 100% cotton (beach-friendly!) wedding dress:
Cute, eh? But shhhh ... don't tell her soon-to-be-husband. He's not supposed to see (yet)!
How fun to be in the middle of the happy+couple+planning! After the wedding (June) I'll post pictures and updates (with bride wearing above gown, of course). Ahhhh ... the beginnings of a happy couple. Three cheers for THAT!
Three cheers for SPRING BREAK!!
While many believe spring break is a time to head south, head west, head to the slopes or head, well, somewhere else (yes, we still had a foot of snow on the ground in MN last week so it's worth going, well, anywhere but here), I've come to relish spring break for the week of regrouping, resting, refreshing (oh, and grading papers that I always assign to be due right before spring break. Dumb).
But this spring break was none of the above. It was BETTER than traveling and resting! And ... as you might guess since I'm making spring break the topic of an entire happy couple blog ... had something to do with happiness + couples + anticipation + planning + celebrating + a bride-to-be + a lot of cutting and stitching.
Indeed, it was a week of all that and more. My sister arrived on Sunday. My mom came shortly before. We traversed the cities with ideas and visions for assisting in the prep for my sis's upcoming destination/beach wedding. Armed with ideas, tape measures and notepads, we set out to descend upon the best shops and stores in the metro area. The pinnacle moment was purchasing fabric. Crafting a dress-making plan. And then tackling the project.
A day or so later, I emerged from the new basement sewing room with my sis's 100% cotton (beach-friendly!) wedding dress:
Cute, eh? But shhhh ... don't tell her soon-to-be-husband. He's not supposed to see (yet)!How fun to be in the middle of the happy+couple+planning! After the wedding (June) I'll post pictures and updates (with bride wearing above gown, of course). Ahhhh ... the beginnings of a happy couple. Three cheers for THAT!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Happy Husband - Behind the Scenes
The late Dr. Tom Faase taught us (my husband Brian and I) one of the profound lessons of a profoundly beautiful partnership: Amplify the other.
After a party we hosted this weekend, one for which we spent weeks happily preparing to honor my dear friend and colleague Professor Tom Connery, I was glowing in the knowledge that my pal Tom felt fully celebrated and honored. It was an evening soaked with great conversation, luscious cocktails, hearty laughter and much to exalt (Tom is our Professor of the Year at the University of St Thomas, an apt accomplishment for a guy with the hugest heart and the largest set of talents. Woo hoo!) (That's him in the middle)
The next day it dawned on me: our pal Tom Faase would have been celebrating too. Yes, he would have enjoyed Tom C. as a friend and colleague, had they ever met. Fast friends, no question. On this occasion Tom Faase would have been praising (quietly noticing) the subtle yet profound way my happy husband worked joyfully and diligently – even during the hours of my anxiety-filled, irritation-full moments of “will we have enough wine?” and “what if everyone shows up at the same second; can the highly-trained-10-year-old-bow-tied coat checks handle it?” and “what if the outdoor candles blow out in the March winter wind … a travesty of décor disaster out of my view and control?” and “don’t touch that!” and “stop making dust!”
Although it wasn’t his dear friends and colleagues attending the first capacious party in our home, you wouldn’t have know it. My happy husband pal was, without a word, simply and fully on-board. With every moment of planning and execution. With every shortened-breath-moment before the honoree and his family (and 65 friends) arrived. He went full-tilt in the party-planning and hosting (and entertaining and cleaning up until 3 a.m.) because he was - Dr. Faase would no doubt have named it: amplifying. Doing what it took to make sure what I believe is part of what he believes (that cupcakes must be positioned exactly 1/8 inch apart, that the ice must be touching every bottle, and the lights are precisely this way, not that).
Amplifying is not easy. Right? It is sacrifice, practice, other-centeredness and patience. But it sure is magical. My lovely husband did whatever it took to – quietly (save the boisterous story-telling about how the hell the fridge I purchased wouldn’t fit in the $%&$in’ front or back door … to people he’d never met but was not too shy to share our deep, dark refrigerated secrets) -- but yes, mostly quietly making sure my mission to celebrate my colleague was memorable and meaningful. The happy husband he is ensured that my mini-party-production was as perfect as I dreamed it should be. For Tom.
And that’s exactly what Dr. Tom Faase would say happens behind the scenes – in the enormous and most mundane moments - of every happy couple. Most of the time, anyway.
Thanks, dear. You make me better, every day. (That's him, in pink. He's sweet AND cute). Lucky me.
After a party we hosted this weekend, one for which we spent weeks happily preparing to honor my dear friend and colleague Professor Tom Connery, I was glowing in the knowledge that my pal Tom felt fully celebrated and honored. It was an evening soaked with great conversation, luscious cocktails, hearty laughter and much to exalt (Tom is our Professor of the Year at the University of St Thomas, an apt accomplishment for a guy with the hugest heart and the largest set of talents. Woo hoo!) (That's him in the middle)
The next day it dawned on me: our pal Tom Faase would have been celebrating too. Yes, he would have enjoyed Tom C. as a friend and colleague, had they ever met. Fast friends, no question. On this occasion Tom Faase would have been praising (quietly noticing) the subtle yet profound way my happy husband worked joyfully and diligently – even during the hours of my anxiety-filled, irritation-full moments of “will we have enough wine?” and “what if everyone shows up at the same second; can the highly-trained-10-year-old-bow-tied coat checks handle it?” and “what if the outdoor candles blow out in the March winter wind … a travesty of décor disaster out of my view and control?” and “don’t touch that!” and “stop making dust!”
Although it wasn’t his dear friends and colleagues attending the first capacious party in our home, you wouldn’t have know it. My happy husband pal was, without a word, simply and fully on-board. With every moment of planning and execution. With every shortened-breath-moment before the honoree and his family (and 65 friends) arrived. He went full-tilt in the party-planning and hosting (and entertaining and cleaning up until 3 a.m.) because he was - Dr. Faase would no doubt have named it: amplifying. Doing what it took to make sure what I believe is part of what he believes (that cupcakes must be positioned exactly 1/8 inch apart, that the ice must be touching every bottle, and the lights are precisely this way, not that).
Amplifying is not easy. Right? It is sacrifice, practice, other-centeredness and patience. But it sure is magical. My lovely husband did whatever it took to – quietly (save the boisterous story-telling about how the hell the fridge I purchased wouldn’t fit in the $%&$in’ front or back door … to people he’d never met but was not too shy to share our deep, dark refrigerated secrets) -- but yes, mostly quietly making sure my mission to celebrate my colleague was memorable and meaningful. The happy husband he is ensured that my mini-party-production was as perfect as I dreamed it should be. For Tom.
And that’s exactly what Dr. Tom Faase would say happens behind the scenes – in the enormous and most mundane moments - of every happy couple. Most of the time, anyway.
Thanks, dear. You make me better, every day. (That's him, in pink. He's sweet AND cute). Lucky me.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Is it true? Could it be true?
Although nothing I'm about to write is actually "true" or "proven" or necessarily supported or even addressed in the family social science/marriage research, what I'm about to say FEELS true ... and conventional wisdom has it to be somewhat true ... and I'd like to think we (Carol, and my darling husband) have accomplished a FEAT and thus if this were true we can brag we're victorious over another of marriage's large hurdles:
92% of all couples who remodel an entire kitchen WHILE LIVING IN IT will end up divorced.
No, that's not true. Or maybe it is? No one has ever documented the connection between marital longevity and kitchen remodels. But, based on very unscientific conversations of all the stress, choices, disagreements, missed bids-for-connection, $ spent, appliance-caused arguments, more choices, knobs, counter-top-conflicts ... the list is long ... it seems that that statistic must be fact. A dissertation topic, perhaps?
Here's what I do know: WE MADE IT! Our kitchen is (basically) done and we are happy as ever despite our on-going argument about the positioning, installation, and reality of my vintage library ladder on the south end near and over the windows, the ladder that needs some creative engineering and has caused many a contemptuous eye-rolling by both parties in this kitchen remodel. (Damn it: the library ladder is going to be SO COOL! So let's get 'er figured out already, honey. Ok? ... said with a happy couple smile and soft tone of voice, of course).
Here is it: one of our marriage hurdles ... overcome!
(I'll post more when the very-cool-way-creative-super-neat-library-ladder-to-get-to-the-cookbooks is finally installed). Check back!
92% of all couples who remodel an entire kitchen WHILE LIVING IN IT will end up divorced.
No, that's not true. Or maybe it is? No one has ever documented the connection between marital longevity and kitchen remodels. But, based on very unscientific conversations of all the stress, choices, disagreements, missed bids-for-connection, $ spent, appliance-caused arguments, more choices, knobs, counter-top-conflicts ... the list is long ... it seems that that statistic must be fact. A dissertation topic, perhaps?
Here's what I do know: WE MADE IT! Our kitchen is (basically) done and we are happy as ever despite our on-going argument about the positioning, installation, and reality of my vintage library ladder on the south end near and over the windows, the ladder that needs some creative engineering and has caused many a contemptuous eye-rolling by both parties in this kitchen remodel. (Damn it: the library ladder is going to be SO COOL! So let's get 'er figured out already, honey. Ok? ... said with a happy couple smile and soft tone of voice, of course).
Here is it: one of our marriage hurdles ... overcome!
(I'll post more when the very-cool-way-creative-super-neat-library-ladder-to-get-to-the-cookbooks is finally installed). Check back!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Happy Couples Get Great Deals
It's true. And who doesn't love (pun intentional) a great deal?
We promise the What Happy Couples Do Blog won't turn into a sales pitch. Forever. But, we're so excited about the upcoming HAPPY COUPLE holiday (insert fanciful thoughts of your loving Valentine here), we just launched a promotion to share the love on our Happy Couple Company site. Check it out!
Between now and Happy Couple Day (er, most people call it Valentine's Day), $10 off orders of $30 or more.
That's a deal worth loving, eh?
We promise the What Happy Couples Do Blog won't turn into a sales pitch. Forever. But, we're so excited about the upcoming HAPPY COUPLE holiday (insert fanciful thoughts of your loving Valentine here), we just launched a promotion to share the love on our Happy Couple Company site. Check it out!
Between now and Happy Couple Day (er, most people call it Valentine's Day), $10 off orders of $30 or more.
That's a deal worth loving, eh?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Happy Couples Crank It Out
Big, fun week for Happy Couple Company! Woohoo!
1. It's almost Valentine's day, you know. So we said to ourselves: "Is there a better time to get Happy Couple Company giftware up and out the door?" Our answer: "Duh." Let's roll. We began blanketing the twin cities with some Happy Couple products, seeking some early feedback from our favorite gift stores. And, within minutes, guess what? Our first order came in from Bibelot, the hottest gift store in St. Paul. Woo hoo! We packaged them up and happily hand-delivered them down Grand Ave. Woo hoo again. Be sure to checkout Bibelot Shops if you're in town (or the handy link to the right). If you know cool gifts, you know Bibelot.
Stay tuned for more giftstore news! We'll be adding a "Find us at" list to the Happy Couple site soon. The list is expanding quickly. 2. As we approach a big launch of HCC, we continue to work on our Happy Couple company website (thanks to Tony Bruess, our 14 year old Vice President of Technology). One of our goals is capturing all of the Happy Couples behind the scenes of HCC. Here is one of them: the adorable Vice President Brianna and her happy partner Joe. Could they be any sweeter? Brianna works tirelessly as our only "employee" at the moment. B, we hope to offer benefits and an office to you soon. Woo hoo!
3. Because we, duh, all know communication is the key to happy couples, we created - just this week - the Happy Couples Communicate kit. Yes, you need this. I (Carol speaking here) need this. I should "note the good" more often, post a little love note, apologize and make things right (and get to my point ... which is often "I love you, dear, even when you drive me nuts!") Isn't this the cutest little communication kit you've ever seen? Comes in blue, and red. I like blue the best. Oh, wait, I love the red. I'll take one of both. And 1,000 more for every couple I know.
If you want to come by and assemble a few kits, swing on over. We could use all the fingers we can get.
4. Emily Balsley is our best-kept secret weapon, cranking out the brilliant designs for HCC from her studio in Madison, Wisconsin. Seriously, you send sweet Emily a question or design idea and she sends you the hippest, coolest responses in all of 60 seconds flat (including pdfs, proofs, plus a pocket full of Emily B. goodness). Emily B, three cheers to you (and your cute happy husband Stephen)!
More on Emily coming soon at www.happycouplecompany.com5. Whew. There is no number 5. But check back soon. Lots going on at the Happy Couple Company Headquarters!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Happy Couple Haircuts
I've often said the secret to a great business should have something do with either food or haircuts - the two things people need, over and over. And again and again.
Today as I'm sitting in the hair chair of Johnny K ("my" hair guy), here's what I (Carol here) witnessed:
Two year old named Nissa (I know because I was aggressively eavesdropping) sitting on a booster getting her curly blonde locks clipped. Her dad strolls happily around the salon with Nissa's baby sister Gretchen (again, good over-listening pays off). "Mom" keeps Nissa occupied by holding up books, squirting 'good-smellin' stuff in the air and introduces an occasional funny-face contest in the mirror. Squirm. Wiggle. Nissa is done. Now it's mom's turn. Dad's turn - as more auditory spying reveals - was completed before I arrived. Dad now sits happily in adjacent seat, rocking sweet Gretchen back and forth. She coos. "Mom" and Nissa chat. Dad returns from next-door coffee shop with milk, cookies and something hot and frothy for "mom."
I finally can't take it any more: "Hi!" I say to little Nissa. She is shy but engages me with her big lashes. I promptly get to my real goal, a comment to the happy couple: "I can't imagine my husband ever coming to the salon with me on a Saturday afternoon, and actually appearing as if he's enjoying it!"
"Mom" and dad smile. She briefs me on their story. I knew there must be a story! What happy couple spends two hours juggling kids, water, electricity, scissors, babies, toddlers and conversation with multiple adults on a Saturday afternoon ... and concludes the outing with a smile?
A couple with a ritual, that's who.
Pre-kids and newly married, this happy couple began many a "date night" at this same salon: cuts, styles, then "out on the town" looking fabulous. Now - while Nissa sweeps and blow dries most of the salon and baby Gretchen begins a hungry howl - this young couple forges on with their date, making it a family outing. "It's just what we do."
Ah ... ritual. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.
Cheers to you, the happy couple with the new haircuts .. whoever you are!?
Monday, December 13, 2010
19 years + blowing snow
Today was our 19th wedding anniversary!
What does one do to celebrate 19 years of bliss ( er, um, er, I mean 19 years of hard work, and some grumpy evenings, and many sweet love notes, and wonderful laughter, and arguments about how fast you drive or how much sleep children need)?
You get a snowblower, that's what.
While I sort of - not really - looked high and low for the recommended 19-year-wedding-anniversary-gift ("Bronze" was suggested), we decided we should get a snowblower. Actually, it wasn't even really an anniversary gift, but today happened to be the day to secure one. And how perfect the day, as more than 19 inches of snow blanketed our city over the past 3 days.
As I thought about it, a snowblower is an apt metaphor for what happy couples do.
It's powerful (just like our relationship history). It makes things easier (like learning how to fight fair or repair when things get 'stormy'). You don't think about it most of the time (read: April - October), but when you need it, there's no substitute (reminds me of "commitment" ... the deep structure of all happily married souls).
I'll spare you my other more trite associations, but you get the point: snowstorms in MN are inevitable. Being prepared is priceless.
Happy anniversary to me ... and you (honey).
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Super Sad
We were married almost 19 years ago (December 13th, 1991. Holy cow, that's a long time ago).
A few weeks ago our sweet friend and priest ... the beloved man who married us ... died peacefully and unexpectedly in his home. We are super sad.
But we also feel lucky to laugh heartily every December 13th when we pay homage to our couplehood by watching our hour and 47 minute wedding ceremony (yes, ceremony. The reception adds another few hours to the video). That night, Fr. Tom Campion told stories of goodness, happiness and previewed the hard work we would encounter in marriage. Dang, he was right! He was a smart ... brilliant ... man. Fr. Tom gave us a foundation of key wisdoms that eve, as he has many times since. About life. About sacrifice. About marriage. We still practice what he taught us. He really knew - some how - what happy couples must do.
In memory of Monsignor Thomas Campion, we say "Amen!" to him. And we are ever-thankful because, as he was oft-heard saying, he'd "rather marry 'em than bury 'em."
You've touched us and made us happier. Thanks, Fr. Tom. We will see you again some day.
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